8/6 Arrive in Milan (Monday)

We arrived at Malpensa Airport in the AM, which is around an hour away from Milan. We usually just uber everywhere, but Milan only had Uber Black for some reason, so we negotiated with a taxi driver to take us to our AirBnb for about 100 Euro. There is also apparently a shuttle to a train that will take you to Milan if you are on a tight budget.

The AirBnb (Hemeras Boutique) was basic but quite nice for the price, and was within walking distance of the Duomo. It was also within walking distance of the canals too, but it was miserably hot outside so we paid a few dollars for the Uber.

I overestimated the time it would take us to explore Milan in general—I basically gave an hour for each of the main sites, but they are all pretty close (with the exception of the canals). It was so hot and humid that we just took a few pictures of the Duomo cathedral and moved on to the adjacent shopping centre— Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II (bet your mall doesn’t have such a classy name). It’s known for its high-end stores and bougie eateries, but the architecture is actually gorgeous. The ceilings reminded me of Leadenhall Market in London.

We stopped and had some pizza and gelato at Galleria Restaurant across from a Gucci store, kicking off our trip in a cliché but utterly satisfying way.

Then we walked to Castle Sforza. There are some cute shops along the walk, and the castle itself has a great deal of history (if you watch the Borgias, yes that Sforza family), but after our castle trip to Scotland, it didn’t really stand out to me. We ended up buying some postcards along the Duomo—the corner pocket has souvenirs and various Milan-themed paraphernalia should you be feeling touristy.

We had walked so much in the humidity by this point that we walked back to the Airbnb for a shower and a nap. We were a bit jet lagged and had some extra time since we finished everything on the itinerary by 2:30pm. Around 7:00, we ubered to the Navigli canals, designed by Leonardo Da Vinci and utterly charming. The various colors of the buildings reflect off the water and create some beautiful photo opportunities. We ate at a delicious (and quite cheap) restaurant called Greek Fusion. The shops are a random collection of restaurants, cafes, gelato stations, and Milan souvenirs.

We ended up buying these adorable hand-painted magnets of the canals and the Duomo for 5 Euro each.

Beginning to lag from the humidity and time zone, we still managed to fit in a visit to La Cioccolateria, an artisanal gelato shop offering beautifully constructed creations that taste as close to heaven as I can reasonably imagine. This is a must, in my opinion.

After walking back to our Airbnb and fully earning our gelato for the day, we showered and snuggled up to the wonderful air conditioning and gave in to the jet lag.

 

8/7 Leave for Lake Como (Tuesday)

We woke up early to take the train to Lake Como and meet up with Trixie. We had planned to make a 10:30ish train from Milano Centrale Station. Armed with confidence in my research and travel wisdom, I estimated we would need at least 30 minutes to buy a ticket and get on the train. You can probably tell where this is going. We made it around 10 to the train station, but it’s actually not entirely clear which place sells the official tickets and which are travel agencies or intermediaries. The main ticketing kiosks also didn’t offer tickets to Lake Como so we got a bit confused (hint: all ticketing kiosks are red but do not necessarily offer the same tickets). So it took us a few minutes to figure that out (google what the official ticketing area actually looks like—the official site has glass doors). So we found the official ticketing station (ticketeria) and then realized we would have to take a number and wait to be helped. Tick, tock, 15 minutes to our train.

Elsewhere in this saga, Trixie had already boarded her train for Lake Como after getting a taxi to Lecco. I assured her that we were in line for tickets and would meet up with her shortly. Finally, we were called up with 5 minutes to go. I was full of hope that we were definitely going to make it with help from the nicest of the ticketeria salespeople, Maria of the Cara Delevigne eyebrows and platinum blonde hair. As I approached the desk and explained what we needed, she just smiled and gently told us we needed to be one ticketeria over. DENIED.

So we shuffle-hobble over to the next ticketeria (look for the TRENITALIA signs/shop if you’re following our itinerary) with all of our luggage and walk right into the shining beacon that was the proper ticketing kiosk. Again, red. At least we didn’t have to wait in line, but we were definitely missing the train. I informed Trixie that we would be late and she just laughed at us, which, admittedly, is her natural reaction to most of what we do.

Finally in possession of proper tickets, we took the conveyer-escalator thing up 2 levels, grabbed a bite to eat, encountered some confusion over which gate we are allowed to enter with which tickets (answer: any gate, it doesn’t matter), validated our tickets, and boarded our train with mounting excitement. Also, make sure that your ticket is actually validated. The validation station we tried to use (the boxes in front of/beside each track) was out of ink and not validating can cost you a heavy fine if you get caught.

After sticking the ticket into the validation box, we heard some whirring and the sound of printing, but couldn’t see anything actually printed on the ticket. Assuming we were doing something wrong, we had the following exchange with a fellow passenger: “Excuse me, did you validate your ticket?” “Yes.” “How do you tell it was validated?” “It made the validation noise.” The last response was made with utter confidence and clear revulsion for our stupidity. For the record (and in your face, bougie-sunglasses-hat-train-lady), you do actually need the date stamped on your ticket in order to have a validated ticket. Try the next box if this happens to you.

Feeling a mishmash of blind exhilaration and anticipation as the scenery grew more lush, I won’t lie and say I didn’t imagine myself to be on Hogwarts Express a time or two. But in this case, reality was better even than imagination. The mountains got bigger, the lake got wider, and almost too quickly, we were hopping off the train at Varenna-Escino, a quaint unmanned little train stop in a fairytale town. Trixie appeared, apparently having grabbed lunch on the terrace of a local restaurant. We grabbed the first taxi we saw and began a winding drive up a mountain to arrive at our Airbnb at what felt like the top of the world. As we walked into the Airbnb (LINK), our mouths literally dropped at the view. It was even better than advertised. The host, Carlo, kept trying to explain where the towels and extra toilet paper was, but we were entranced with the view. Who has the time to think about extra sheets when you now know what looking down from Olympus feels like?

After peeking in to see the shared glass observation deck, pool, and Jacuzzi, we took a taxi back down the mountain to the ferry to try and make it to Lenno to see Villa Balbianello. Villa Balbianello is generally regarded as one of the most beautiful, if not the most beautiful, examples of Italian villas in existence. It is also famous from its role as a shooting location in a variety of movies like Star Wars. It is only open on certain days and final admittance into the gardens is at 5:15. We made the mistake of getting a regular ferry ticket to Lenno and not a rapid ticket, so we only made it in the nick of time. If you have enough time when you arrive to the Lenno ferry station, you can walk for 5-10 minutes to a speedboat that will take you directly to the villa. The speedboat wasn’t docked when we got there so we just took the uphill walking path to make sure we would make it on time (~20 min). Hey, free gym.

COMPLETELY worth all the rushing when we actually arrived. The vibrancy, architecture, and mixture of florals and stonework was jaw-dropping. I’m so glad we made it here. Exceeded all expectations. After walking the full gardens and taking a few obnoxious Instagram pictures on the terrace, we took the last speedboat back to Lenno, grabbed some pizza and gelato (what? It’s a thing for a reason), and narrowly made the last ferry back to Varenna. We took this time to walk around Varenna town, which is smaller than the famous Bellagio, but has a more secluded atmosphere. There is so much charm here that it feels like you’re inside a movie set with all of its cobblestone, alleys with vibrant colors, and tree canopy terraces overlooking the lake. We sat on the water, had a few snacks, and then took a taxi back to our Airbnb.

 

8/8 Lake Como (Wednesday)

We woke up early, had a brunchy breakfast in Varenna, survived a bee attack that only amused the locals, and caught the ferry to Bellagio. We walked along the Via Giuseppe Garibaldi Street and bought silk from the famous Azalea Silk of Como store. The side streets wind upwards and are typically bustling with tourists. After we finished shopping, we walked along the water toward Villa Melzi and took a few impromptu pictures in beautiful spots along the way. After getting our fill of greenery, flowers, cute bridges, and the outside of the Villa itself, we made our way back to the ferry.

When busy, as it usually is from Bellagio, the ferry system is hilariously dysfunctional with lots of people crowded in a big blob to wait. A ferry docks and yells out locations over the murmuring crowd. The passengers on the arriving ferry make their way off as the crowd starts pushing forward, and inevitably members of the waiting crowd are turned away for having the wrong tickets or trying to board the wrong ferry, which adds to the chaos. As a one-time event, it’s a funny experience, and we laughed about it as we picked seats on the upper deck of the ferry. We felt the wind as the ferry picked up speed and enjoyed an unobstructed view of the approaching Varenna. After docking, Trixie went to harass a boat rental service to see if we could rent it a bit early (we made reservations that morning to pick it up) while we grabbed a few quick sandwiches.

Apparently, they’ll just rent you the boat for the day, no license required. We figured we could give it a shot, learned the basics, and set sail. Trixie was full of “I’m the Captain now!” jokes as she navigated us around all the major sites and Villas (hey, George Clooney!).

Upon returning the boat to Varenna, our Airbnb host offered to take us to well-known dinner location that we apparently could not miss (Crott del Pepott). He picked us up from the Airbnb and took us to this industrial area that basically had a big dumpster and some woods, and told us the restaurant was in the woods. Oooohkay, I think I’ve heard this story on Dateline. Lo and behold, a restaurant really did appear out of nowhere in the woods.

Carlo was incredibly kind and really enjoyed practicing his English with us as we ate traditional Polenta and wine. The chef and owner has an incredibly dry sense of humor that we absolutely loved. He mocked me relentlessly because I thought he was describing tiramisu at one point, and of course he would never make something so basic. We told him we would give him rave reviews on Yelp for the tiramisu so all the other tourists would come and ask for it. 🙂

Overall, Lake Como was like something out of a dream and it’s one of the rare places in the world I would return for a second visit.

 

8/9 Switzerland (Thursday)

Since there were 4 of us, we ended up just splitting a taxi to Lugano, where we rented an Alfa Romeo to drive through the Swiss Alps. We were pretty hungry by this time, so we figured we would just stop at the nearest supermarket and grab something to go. We quickly noticed that there is a market called Coop in Switzerland that rivals the frequency of a Starbucks in America. The Coop we chose had a smorgasbord of fresh food, coffee, smoothies, fresh juices, hand-made sandwiches, and vibrant fruit. It was probably the best food for the money of our trip. Not bad for what was essentially a bathroom break.

The next few hours were spent driving toward Zermatt, a beautiful little ski town that I’ve always wanted to visit, where we had reservations with Air Zermatt to take a helicopter ride to see the top of the Matterhorn. As soon as we got to the mountainous part of the drive, fog rolled in so dense that we literally couldn’t see 3 feet in front of us. It felt like driving vertically upward into the clouds, only interrupted by the occasional local driver zipping around us. The majority of the day included marveling at the mountains, the few quaint towns with dark wooden buildings and bright flowers, and the rest of the terrain.

Zermatt itself is car-free, so we had to park in Tasch and take the train to Zermatt. By this point, Air Zermatt had determined that the weather was too bad to take our scheduled helicopter flight for the day, which was a problem since we had an Airbnb 3 hours away for the night. Deciding that we didn’t want to miss the flight, we grabbed a last-minute hotel in Zermatt, a town that was even more adorable than I had anticipated. Even the boxy miniature taxis were painfully cute. By the time we were showered and ready to explore, we had missed the last train up to see Gornergrat, which the concierge said was a beautiful sight. If you’re following this itinerary and you make it in time, the boarding location is directly across from the train station.

We actually had a blast wandering around the little souvenir shops and chocolate stores, among others. We dined at a restaurant aptly called Swiss Chalet that was a few meters from our hotel, and it was quite delicious. Make sure to try the vanilla ice cream and apple crisp if you go here–it was by far the best of the desserts.

 

8/10 Switzerland (Friday)

We woke up early Friday and were out of the hotel by 7, taking advantage of the free complimentary breakfast. Fresh fruit, coffee, oatmeal, and fruit. Not a bad start.

We walked to Air Zermatt, and found ourselves in front of a metal and wooden elevator. We pushed one of the big buttons and the elevator came to fetch us. It was one of those large, Jurassic Park-esque elevators that makes you aware of how small you are. When the doors opened at the top, we were greeted to four bright red helicopters perched on a platform and contrasting with the dreariness of the day. We ended up having to wait a few additional hours for our ride due to the weather, but we made friends with some of the locals and entertained ourselves. When it was finally our turn to go, the experience was indescribable and I’m so glad we came back and did it. The pilot was a great narrator, and even landed at one point so that we could say we landed at the top of the Swiss Alps. I know it’s an optical illusion, but he flew so close to the mountain at times that it felt like we could just reach out and touch them. The ride was over all too soon, but what a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Still high off of our helicopter experience, we trained back to Tasch to grab our car. We were several hours away from Stechelberg where we planned to take the cable cars up to the top of the Schilthorn (of James Bond fame) and hopefully have time to see the cute little villages along the cable car route. Thankfully, there’s a “Sunset schedule” in the summer, so we had a little extra time to make it.

The drive there was similar to the previous day with a few additional towns and brighter weather. One notable difference came when we encountered a toll for 29 Swiss Francs. Thinking it was a heavy toll, but just paying it and driving on, we then noticed that cars were being loaded onto a conveyer belt with people in them. Having no way out, we just went with it and through the magic of the iPhone, determined that this train for cars was built through places in Switzerland where there was avalanche risk. So as it began to whisk us to our destination, I rolled down the window to get a picture, and something flew into my eye.

It was at this moment that the train-car entered a tunnel and we were pitched into darkness. So began the comedy of errors. As my eye swelled, my co-passengers held lighted iPhones up and tried to get drops into it. When we actually exited the tunnel and were pushed from the train onto another conveyer belt, the car decided we had hit something and automatically shut off the engine. Me playing the part of a newly maimed Odin from the passenger seat was no help, so the other girls tried to get the car running again. Once we were successfully moving, we turned the wrong way off the train, and I’m not sure if that scared the workers more than my swollen raccoon face or if it was the stop-and-start car movements. Either way, they eventually ushered us back onto the road, and I narrowly avoided needing an eyepatch. But hey, I did successfully get that picture.

We made it to Stechelberg right before the second-to-last cable car left, bought tickets, and jumped onboard. It’s a scenic trip in the cable car, and since the top portion (the Schilthorn) was foggy that day, we only stayed for a few minutes and hopped back on the departing cable car to check out the little towns on the way down. We skipped Birg, but if you have time, check out the suspension bridge and mountainside restaurant with beautiful views. We then stopped at Murren, which was my favorite of the stops. There were lots of places to take pictures of the natural beauty and all of the little restaurants and shops were quaint and charming. We explored Murren for about an hour, but I could have spent longer. Our last stop of the night was in Gimmelwald, but everything was closed when we arrived so it felt a bit dead. It still had a lot of natural beauty, and the fog pretty much lifted, so it was still a good time.

It was pretty late by the time we actually left Stechelberg, and we were all pretty hungry, so we drove for a little while until we hit Interlaken, which had more city life than I expected after the string of small towns we had experienced so far. We ended up eating at an Indian fusion restaurant, which was amazing.

Because of our late start in the day, we ended up getting to our Airbnb in Zurich around 3 am. Thankfully, there was a night manager and there were no issues with the stay.

 

8/11 Zurich (Saturday)

We left for Swissotel in the morning and noticed that it was quite busy when we made it to check in. The hotel desk clerk told us they had been up since 4 am dealing with people checking in “for the festival.” I asked him where the festival was since we might check it out. I could tell he was trying to politely tell me my comment was stupid when he gave up and asked me to come to his side of the desk and look at a picture of the festival. It was an aerial shot of the festival, the largest EDM festival in the world to be more specific, and it looked like pictures of inauguration day in America plus a few people. He told us we probably wouldn’t be able to walk around if we got too close to the bridge/main area. One day a year and we nailed it.

Shrugging and deciding to make the best of it, we grabbed some food, and, man, Zurich is expensiiiiive. $52 for a burger and 2 coffees. When in Rome, I guess. Might as well go full out, so we hit up Bahnhofstrauss, one of the most expensive shopping streets in the world. However, I guess since so many people were passing this way that were poorer and drunker than their normal clientele, all the stores were closed for the day.

Trixie wanted to see how close we could get to the festival without being suffocated so we started walking with the crowds, and the streets started getting pretty dense with people. However, when a police van pulled up and policemen pour out with batons, we were out of there. I’m too dependent on Netflix and private showers to end up in jail. Went the other way and quickly grabbed a tram to Altstadt (Old Town) Zurich.

The trams are clean, easy to interpret, always on time, and come equipped with digital readouts of all the stops once you’re onboard. Pretty impressive system.

Altstadt was probably my favorite part of Zurich, with its cobblestone streets, winding side streets, clocktowers, fountains, chocolate stores, and general Swiss-y Germanness.

Since Zurich was awash with EDM fans, we went back to the hotel and asked the desk clerk for a recommendation for dinner. He made us reservations on the water in Lucerne (about 50 minutes away), his hometown. That was fine with us since we had wanted to see Lucerne anyway. It was as promised, once again spoiling us with a beautiful waterfront dinner complete with sunset.

We went back to the hotel and packed for our morning flight home the next day. The hotel room itself was on the 29th floor, so we had a sweeping final view of Zurich in the morning before departing.